I’m a Cat and Everything Belongs to Me

Sure, our crowns may be nothing more than leftover Christmas wrapping, but that doesn't mean we're not the queen of the household. I'm Juneau, the Chief Feline of ModernTurtle.com, and I live with Carly Dawson, the Social Media Manager. Silly girl, she thinks I steal her chair. Hasn't she realized by now that it's not stealing if everything belongs to me?

I know that Carly spends a good chunk of her hard-earned paycheck on me (as she should) buying cat beds and cat toys, but frankly, she might as well think of me every time she buys something because I'm going to end up using it anyway.

1. Blankets are great for snuggling in

Credit: Tim-Oliver Metz

I love snuggling up in blankets. They're so soft and cozy. Even better if Carly's underneath them. She makes excellent padding and it's like having my personal heating pad. Though, not sure why she starts squawking in pain when I start making biscuits on her. Sure, my claws were just freshly sharpened on the scratching post, but c'mon, don't be such a wimp Carly.

2. Cups and mugs fit my head perfectly

Credit: Gaelle Marcel

I'm not a big fan of the smell of coffee and I really don't understand how Carly could possibly enjoy that stuff. But once in a while, I smell fresh cool water in her cup and thought, how nice of her to make sure I stay hydrated! And she puts it on top of the table for easy access. But she can be petty though and makes a big commotion when I stick my tongue in there for a taste. Geez Carly, haven't you heard of sharing?

3. Pillows and cushions are extra beds to me

Credit: Carolina Sánchez

Oh, aren't pillows and cushions just extra beds for me? I mean, they must be. They're the perfect size and height, and there's so many to choose from to meet my napping needs. Sometimes I want a fluffy one and other times I want one with those tassel things that I can play with when I'm not quite sleepy yet. But by far, my favorite are those that have that funny texture pattern on them. They're excellent for rubbing my face on. Whiskers can get very itchy, you know.

4. Fluffy rugs make excellent napping spots

Credit: serjan midili

Yes, the rumors are true. Put a piece of cardboard in the middle of a football field and any cat will make a beeline for it. So when Carly puts a nice fluffy rug in the living room or bedroom, well, it must be meant for me. Especially if I'm feeling particularly relaxed that day and I want to nap all sprawled out. Yes, those cat beds are super comfy, especially in the winter time when it's a little chilly, but how would you like sleeping in a sleeping bag all the time Carly?

5. Nothing of yours is safe from me

Credit: Tucker Good

There's no such thing as mine and yours. Everything is mine. Pens and highlighters in particular make excellent toys. They're the perfect size for my mouth and my favorite way to play with them is to bite the top, grab the middle with my paws, and bunny kick the other end. Oh, and that square thing that Carly stares and pokes at the whole day? I mean, it must be made for sitting because I heard Carly say it was "lap" something. Well, I can confidently say this – they make excellent butt warmers!

I'm going to see what Carly's up to. I think she's going out for dinner and she might miss me when she's gone so I better roll around on that nice black dress of hers on the bed so that she'll have a part of me with her. Honestly, what will hoomans do without us?